a woman’s moan is the origin of the universe
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yesterday this girl in my academic writing class sits down next to me and puts 3 bananas on the desk (which was jarring by itself) and i had two bananas in my backpack so i wanted to see if she would notice if i added those to her banana pile when she wasn’t looking and when she finally looked back at the bananas she sighed and said really quietly to herself “oh my god…i have so many…” and put all five of them in her backpack
ok its not that funny
It is that fucking funny
I’m the type of girl who will touch you distractedly. like sitting watching a movie and I will just kind of drag my fingers over your skin while watching and I promise that I don’t have a motive I’m not trying to tickle you or be sexual with you I’m just touching your skin and feeling the shape of your bones under that skin like it’s physically comforting for me to know that you’re there right under my fingertips
john mulaney and linda from bobs burgers have the same aura
Linda, drunk off her head: my husband is a bitch i like him SO MUCH